Why do men hit women?

The other day when I was in clinic, I heard the story I wanted to share. Through an interpreter and shed tears, she told her story to me. This woman was an educated worker in Kabul. By our standards, she would be respected and esteemed in the states by her peers for her accomplishments. She is a mother and a wife. She began to talk about the situation at home. In addition to her employment obligations which entail full days, she is also expected by her husband to be the sole homemaker and caretaker of the children. Her husband abuses alcohol and also abuses her. He is currently being unfaithful to the marriage has been sleeping around. He berates her verbally and beats her physically. She even showed me the bruises as evidence. On her shoulder were purple ecchymoses of varies stages. She continued on in her tears to share about how she is concerned about her children. To quote her, “I can take it, I can take it for the children. I just ask that he be quite when he does it”. In this culture this poor women has virtually no options. She can’t call the police. She can’t get a restraining order? She can’t divorce. She can’t leave, because where is she going to go?

So I have read A Thousand Splendid Suns and the women I met today sounded just like it. But the truth is her life is not a fictional story. It is real, hard and seems hopeless! She is just one woman here in Afghanistan; in a culture where women are property of men. How many other women are living the same story? What does the burka hide? Their value is in their ability to produce children, and more importantly males. That too, has been a repeated concern of some of the women we have seen in the clinic. Infertility can virtually be a death sentence for women here – if not a death sentence, than huge demotion within the family status to a position of servant or slave. These things are unfathomable to me and I am struggling to wrap my head around it all